In the dance of relationships, energy speaks louder than words. We often find ourselves drawn to people who mirror or complement our internal state—sometimes consciously, but more often unconsciously. One of the most misunderstood yet powerful dynamics is what happens when a woman operating from her disempowered masculine meets a man living from his disempowered feminine.

What Is the Disempowered Masculine?

When a woman is in her disempowered masculine, she may appear highly capable and independent on the outside—but beneath that exterior, there’s often a current of hypervigilance, control, and over-responsibility. She may lead with logic, suppress her emotions, and carry a belief that if she doesn’t do it all, everything will fall apart. This often stems from early life experiences where safety was found in control and achievement. Vulnerability became unsafe. Softness, indulgence, or rest may have been labeled as weakness.

The Disempowered Feminine in Men

On the flip side, the disempowered feminine in men can manifest as emotional over-dependence, avoidance of responsibility, passivity, or a deep yearning to be cared for without the maturity to reciprocate. He may feel deeply but struggle to hold himself or others in a grounded, stable way. This energy often carries wounds of abandonment or rejection, leaving the man unsure of his power and reluctant to fully step into it.

The Attraction: A Mirror, Not a Mistake

When these two energies meet, it may initially feel magnetic. She feels needed. He feels safe. But soon the imbalance becomes clear.

• She begins to mother rather than relate.
• He becomes increasingly passive or emotionally volatile.
• She feels resentful, burdened, and unseen.
• He feels judged, controlled, or not good enough.

This relationship is a teacher—not a punishment. Each partner is being shown their own inner imbalance.

This Was Me

This was me in my past relationships.

For years, I lived in my disempowered masculine—overgiving, overdoing, and constantly striving to hold everything (and everyone) together. I attracted partners who were deep in their disempowered feminine, unable or unwilling to meet me in grounded presence. I mothered. I managed. I tolerated. I lost myself.

It wasn’t until I had the courage to walk away from an abusive relationship that I could finally see the pattern clearly. The dynamics weren’t random—they were energetic reflections of my own inner imbalance.

Reclaiming Myself

My journey to date has been about balancing the scales—reclaiming my wholeness and leaning into my divine feminine, my Shakti.

• Softening.
• Receiving.
• Allowing.
• Trusting.

It’s not about abandoning my inner masculine, but about allowing my feminine to lead and be supported, not suppressed.

The Opportunity for Growth

We unconsciously attract partners who reflect where we are wounded, not where we are healed. A woman in her disempowered masculine often hasn’t yet learned to trust her inner feminine—her flow, intuition, receptivity, and emotional truth. She attracts a man who has not yet owned his inner masculine—his capacity to lead, protect, and provide grounded presence.

In this configuration, both are disconnected from their own inner union.

But this is not the end—it’s the beginning of deep, transformative healing.

The Path Forward

The empowered feminine is magnetic, intuitive, and embodied. She trusts life and herself.

The empowered masculine is steady, present, and protective. He holds space with depth and direction.

When these energies live within us harmoniously, our external relationships begin to reflect that balance.

Because the truth is, we don’t attract what we want—we attract who we are.